Guess who's back you motherless sacks of shit!! That's right, i'm coming strait onto your faces with another full year of fantasy football fuckerey, showcasing ALLLL of my triumphs and ALLLL of your considerable mistakes! I know that your lives have been.... empty without my sarcasm and scathing wit, but fear not my little scumbags, for every Wednesday ill be here to shit on you in the most entertaining way i know how.
This year we have 1 new player and 1 returning player. Koulby joins us for his first season in the TSFFL and IMMEDIATELY loses his 1st game! JESUS! Enjoy an entire season of stepping on rakes. Mike is also back this year after a three year hiatus, which is a good thing because it feels like I age three years every time i watch his team fucking play. Now I know a lot of you have questions as to what Ive been doing on my 2 year hiatus and now i'm here to answer them! Lets go to the e-mails:
Tom from Idaho writes:
Its been 2 years now, what have you been doing with yourself?
-Thanks Tom. Well I decided to take to take this sabbatical to really focus on the things that are important to me. My family , My job, and KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF MY TEAMMATES FOR 2 STRAIT YEARS! Thats right Tom, you are reading the words of a 3 time FF champion. If you've been keeping track at home, thats a 60% win rate. BOW TO ME!!!
Penis from Kalualumpar writes:
My FF team is never winning the match. What I do to finish best at the FF? Please teach Penis to be best like you.
-Well Penis, winning at Fantasy Football is more art than skill, a certain je ne sais quoi that not everybody has and not everybody can learn. But if you would like, feel free to give me 100$ to join my league and watch me put on a CLINIC IN HOW TO BEAT FOOLS! You can see me run this clinic every, single year.
Carmen from Hawaii writes:
You are SOOOO hot, your drafting makes me weak.
- Not a question but you are correct on both accounts.
Lucy from Texas writes:
What can we expect from this years blog?
- I have some new things in store for this year, life hacks, what Ive been eating, trying to get some interesting interviews lined up. Of course the blog wouldn't be the same without a stirring and completely factual account of how truly awful my league mates are.
Thank everyone for the amazing questions. If I didn't get to your e-mail this year its because I got tired off typing them out and I had to watch my team mates this week, or as I like to refer to them "The infinity gauntlet of suck". Don't forget to like us on Facebook, tag us on Instagram, hit the subscribe button, and tweet the hell out of this.
Life hack #1
Rob 153 v.s. Dan 101:
In the highest scoring game of the week i completely demolished Dan in what should have been a close game. Lead by A.Ekeler  everyone but 1 player scored in the double digits. Dan Decided to leave 60 on his bench in what would have won the game.
Joe 126 v.s. Anthea 122:
The closest game of the week saw Joe squeak out a last minute win with A.Kamara  doing his thing on Monday night. Anthea was within spitting distance Sunday night with and amazing performance by CMC .
Addison 118 v.s. Koulby 84:
The biggest differential came between founding member Addison and new to the league Koulby with 4 of Addisons players scoring more than 20 point to only 3 of Koulbys players even reaching double digits. We have a front runner for The Brady folks.
Jesse 121 v.s. Kira 101:
In a game that was closer than it had any right to be Jesse decided to play M.Bryant  but even though a decent showing by Kira was able to pull the W.
Mickey 109 v.s. Chris 89:
OMG this was the most boring match ive seen in a year with Chris putting a good TE E.Engram  but Mike just kept plugging along like the trooper he is a giving Chris his first loss.